I'm three calls away from being done with the MICU until third year. At times I regret this because we have a great team right now: our attending is 2-3 years out of fellowship and has a dry humor that makes rounds bearable, we always have one fellow on, one IM senior, one IM PGY-2, one IM intern, one EM PGY-3, and an EM intern (me). The overnight team consists of either an IM senior and intern or the EM senior and me, each with a fellow for additional support. With exception of mediating vent settings, the EM senior is far more proficient than the fellow at procedures and management of acute events. I like seeing one of ours in this light because it gives me hope that some time not too far in the future I will be able to handle this 16 patient ICU all night. Saturday night was truly the busiest on call night so far. I slept maybe a half an hour, ran a code, put in three IJs, did two admissions, declared someone dead, and did not sit down once.
I ran my first code that night. An 84 yo F was found unresponsive in the surgery ward. There was a question of beta blockade vs. vasovagal and she was found with a pulse in the 30s, sating 70% on 5L NC. We bagged her, put on pacer pads, and gave atropine and glucagon. She recovered pretty well, but was transferred to the ICU for closer monitoring of her bradycardia. When she arrived, however, the picture changed. She was hypotensive to the 70s with a HR of 50 and we couldn't get the pulse ox to work because her extremities were so cool. She was clearly in shock. When we looked at her labs, her hemoglobin had dropped by 4g/dL in 12 hours and we realized she was actively bleeding somewhere. Given that she was three days post laparoscopic hiatal hernia repair and was tender on abdominal exam without any other apparent localizing findings, we decided to scan her. Not surprisingly she turned out to have a pronounced hepatic subcapsular bleed with free fluid in the colic gutter. Surgery was called and we ordered four units and started bolusing her while we were waiting. I was struggling with her line. She was in the process of getting discharged home when she coded around 5pm and had been INTed in the AM without any PO intake that day. Her veins were collapsed; I could barely make out her IJ. When I finally did get blood return and started feeding in the wire, it kept meeting resistance four to five inches in and nothing I could do would make it go further. My senior suggested turning around the wire, which I had never heard of. I fed the wire in backwards with the hooked side last and it worked like a charm. We resuscitated her with packed rbcs, NS boluses, and got her a bear hugger, which allowed us to finally get a read from her pulse ox. The next morning a good 15 hours after the code, a surgical attending finally first laid hands on her. She dodged the surgery question with lets get q6 H/Hs and a repeat CT, which prompted a whole argument with the radiologist, who said it was entirely ridiculous: what change were they expecting to see? Ultimately, I realized I had to make peace with the fact that I could not single-handedly do a laparotomy and that I would also make mistakes in my career - I should be understanding and work to the best of my ability. It's a lot easier to turn down an 80+ year old from surgery when you see her after she has been volume resuscitated and narcotized and believe she is not a surgical candidate, than when you code her and are tremulously holding atropine in the radiology suite watching her brady down to the 50s. A pro pos we still have not elucidated the reason for her bradycardia in the setting of hypotension. Pain with increased vagal stimulation?
With all the action we had that night, the emotional burden of declaring someone dead that was perfectly healthy three days prior and now on his death bed from severe sepsis secondary to pneumonia, as well as rankling with surgery all night long, I was more than happy to come home with the prospect of a day off. I DID leave that day with the feeling that I had helped save someone's life that night and that I had become an indispensible part of the ICU team. Over the last 24 hours it has really sunk in that I have a pretty powerful ability and after all of those long nights of studying and wondering if I would every make it, I was finally here and it was entirely worth it.
